and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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