Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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