drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
