so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
