it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
