I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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