Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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