I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
