I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
