"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
