My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
