I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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