I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
