i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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