If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
