yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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