I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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