I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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