Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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