Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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