yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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