Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
