I seem to have left my pride at pride
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
