Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
