You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
