why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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