i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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