if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
