piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
