i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
