she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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