I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
