Banned from zoo.
Again?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
