Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
