the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
