Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
