I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize