no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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