sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
