There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
