I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
