OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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