I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
