Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
