all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
