Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
