do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
