I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
