Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
