you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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