Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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