Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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