Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
