Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
