he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
