What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
