yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize