If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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