You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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