We're facebook friends in real life
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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