Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
