"it" just moved
i barfeds in our rink
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
