I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize